While many are wondering who’s going to be on the royal wedding guest list or what Kate Middleton’s wedding dress is going to look like this Friday at Westminster Abbey, we are left wondering how the future king and his bride will fare in this public relationship exposed to scrutiny and expectations.
We reached out to our genConnect relationship expert Laurie Puhn, bestselling author of Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In, couples mediator and lawyer, to get her insight into how Kate and William can make it work.
“My point of view is that they will have to work just as hard, if not harder, to keep their love alive,” Laurie says. “Being royalty is a full-time job that will force them into long trips apart, conflicting perspectives on traditions, difficulties with in-laws and more.”
Here’s how Laurie sees it:
Prince William and Kate’s Wedding: A Blessing or a Curse?
The Poll: 61% of people we polled said that Kate and William’s wedding will be a curse and they will not live happily ever after!
William’s love will NOT conquer all, and their money will NOT buy them happiness. What will give them and all couples’ marriage success is making 3 right choices to keep them in the “real zone” of marriage.
The Three Zones of Marriage:
The Ideal Zone: After their public “I do’s” this modern royal couple will, like all newlyweds, live in the “ideal zone,” blessed to have found one another and giddy with infatuation.
The Real Zone: With time, William and Kate will enter the “real zone” where they will face daily tough challenges as all couples do. Here, with 3 right choices, they can live happily ever after.
The Danger Zone: If their choices are wrong, they will feel increasingly distant, unappreciated and undervalued. Their relationship will go downhill landing them in the cursed “danger zone” of divorce.
3 Choices the Royal Couple Must Make to Stay in Love:
1. Public or Private?
How much of their personal lives do they share with the public? Will Kate read the morning paper, something online or talk to the Queen to discover that William over-shared by revealing their decision to get pregnant or the details of a quarrel?
The Choice: Private. It is essential that the couple choose privacy to protect their love. They must establish definitive borders that deal with which topics are just between them and which ones can be shared with family, friends and/or the press.
2. Kingdom or Spouse?
There are three people in William and Kate’s marriage: the two of them, and the Kingdom. If William or Kate put their duties as prince or princess above their role of loving spouse, they will lead independent lives. Their intimacy and love will evaporate, leaving behind a gap in their relationship for another person to fill.
The Choice: Spouse. They must intentionally make their relationship a #1 priority. They must implement a daily communication routine, schedule private time together, and find charities and activities they can both support.
3. Traditional or Modern Marriage?
William and Kate are a modern royal couple who will face continuous challenges that involve love, duty and tradition. They have lived together before marriage. They do not want to employ domestic “help.” They became engaged secretly. Prince William has announced that he will not wear a wedding band. They have a hands-on approach to their wedding with regard to what they will wear, eat, and which words will be in their vows.
The Choice: Modern. For Kate and William to be happy, they must forge a legacy of their own that reflects their modern lifestyle but does not embarrass the throne or create conflict behind palace walls. They can do this by learning how to communicate effectively, mediate problems and choose their battles wisely, so that both their marriage and royal bonds stay strong.
For more from Laurie Puhn:
- Married With Good Karma
- Breastfeeding and Formula Can Go Hand-in-Hand, Guilt-Free
- Has Economic Recession Actually Prevented Some Couples From Getting Divorced?
- Are You A Bossy Mom?
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These are one expert’s views on the news. Share with us your thoughts in the comments box below.