Father’s Day: Dr. Margery Fridstein reacts to a Father’s Day op-ed piece by a young man who talks about the ‘void’ instilled in children born from artificial insemination – how they want to know their fathers, and to send the message that sperm donors are fathers, too
In my practice of psychotherapy, I usually support adopted clients who wanted to find their birth parents. Even when one is raised by wonderful adoptive parents, the mystery of who I am always remains. And today, many birth parents have some connection with their birth child.
Now fast forward.
Again, I have usually been supportive of couples or singles that have discovered that artificial insemination of a donor egg or sperm is the only way they can parent a child. Never until today have I related the feeling of children conceived this way to those of an adopted child. Certainly my blind spot.
Having read Colton Wooten’s op-ed article, “A Father’s Day Plea to Sperm Donors” in the Sunday New York Times, my eyes have been opened. Of course kids want to know who their parents are. This is psychologically and medically very important.
Whether egg or sperm donors will be willing to disclose their identity is a complicated issue. My take from Wooten’s very moving essay is to urge parents seeking donor eggs and sperms in their effort to have a baby to reconsider their wish. Whose needs are more important – theirs’ or their unborn child’s?
I know “A Father’s Day Plea to Sperm Donors” will have a huge impact on how I counsel childless singles and couples in the future.
For more from Margery Fridstein and our parenting experts on genConnect:
- How to Help Your ADHD Child, by Margery Fridstein
- How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex, by Margery Fridstein
- Dr. Janet Taylor: Can I Kick My Adult Kids Out of the House? (VIDEO)
- Helping Your Children Control Their Impulses Makes Them Better Students
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