Orgasms: What You Didn’t Know, by Dr. Marianne Brandon

[ 0 ] December 2, 2010 |

Are vaginal orgasms different from clitoral orgasms?  The truth is, even professionals disagree on this topic.  Some say they are two different experiences powered by different nerve pathways, others say all orgasms are clitoral orgasms because the clitoris is actually much larger than it appears to the naked eye, while  others say “who really cares, just enjoy your orgasms and stop worrying about it!”  And the reality is, all of these perspectives have merit.  But current research in the Journal of Sexual Medicine does offer some interesting insights.  For example, one recent study utilized an ultrasound to evaluate a woman’s genitals before and after intercourse and suggested that what has been called the G-spot may actually be simply the root of the clitoris that stretches near the vaginal wall.  As a result, at least some women who have orgasms during penetration may simply have found an alternate route to stimulate their clitoris.

Another recent study in the same journal surveyed 1000 Czech women for evidence of vaginal orgasms which they defined as orgasms triggered by penile-vaginal intercourse only.  These researchers found that some women in their sample did perceive a difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms.  And not only that, they found some interesting variables that seemed to correlate with what women perceived as vaginal orgasms.  For example, consistency of vaginal orgasm was associated with sexual education in childhood suggesting that the vagina (as opposed to the clitoris) was important for inducing orgasm.  In addition, other variables included a woman’s self-perceived ability to focus on pleasurable sensations in her vagina, greater duration of penile-vaginal intercourse (in this study, the mean duration was about 13 minutes), and a personal preference for a longer than average length penis.

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh Answers: Does Size Matter? (VIDEO)

The bottom line?  Ladies, your man was right when he determined that your body is quite complicated!

So what does all this orgasm mumbo jumbo mean to you?  Well, most sex therapists will say that the more you worry about having an orgasm, the harder they are to come by (no pun intended).  So rather than focus on the kind of orgasms you want, the most enjoyable intercourse happens when you simply let go of trying to orgasm altogether.  Allowing yourself to be immersed in pleasure is the most effective way to sexual satisfaction, orgasm or not. Remember that orgasm difficulties are one of the more common female sexual concerns – so if you have them, you aren’t alone.  Women worry about not having them during intercourse, having them only with a vibrator but not with manual or oral stimulation, not having them at all, having them with one partner but not another, or lying about having them.  Oy vey.

My advice to you is to let all these anxieties wash away.  They do nothing to serve you and they probably keep you from enjoying yourself as fully as possible.  The next time you make love, gift yourself with a gentle attitude of acceptance, and let yourself enjoy the pleasure of it, regardless of the form it takes in your body.

Dr. Marianne Brandon on Making Monogamy Easier

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Category: Intimacy, Relationships

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About Dr. Marianne Brandon: Dr. Marianne Brandon is a clinical psychologist and Diplomat in sex therapy through AASECT. Dr. Brandon is Director of Wellminds Wellbodies LLC in Annapolis, Maryland. She is author of Monogamy: The Untold Story and co-author [...]
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