Oklahoma Tornado Kills at Least 9 Kids; How to Grieve

[ 0 ] May 21, 2013 |

The Moore tornado, seen here, was reportedly a mile wide/KFOR-TV, Facebook

Tornado tragedy has struck Oklahoma once again.

The Oklahoma tornado that ripped through the Oklahoma City suburbs on Monday left at least 24 people  – including 9 children – dead, at least 237 injured, and hundreds without homes. Rescue teams on Tuesday continued to look for survivors and combed through debris in struck cities suck as Moore after one of the deadliest tornadoes in U.S. history; officials warned that the death toll could rise

The children were killed when the tornado directly hit two elementary schools; seven drowned in a pool of water at once school, which was all but leveled. At least one teacher threw her body over her students on the ground to protect them; people pulled a car off of one teacher who had three children lying under her. Terrified children said the twister sounded like a train going right by their heads. President Obama is expected to address the nation at 10 a.m. EST.

When tragedy such as this occurs, often there are no words for those who have lost loved ones. The grieving process is often a long and arduous one.

WATCH: Allison and Art Daily Found Hope Through Grief

For those mourning a loss, Allison Daily, author of Out of the Canyon, A True Story of Loss and Love, bereavement counselor at Aspen Valley Hospital, and Co-Director of Pathfinder Angels, a non-profit for cancer patients, stresses that there is no correct way to grieve, there is no road map.


Moore residents help comb through debris/ KOKH-Fox 25, Facebook

“We may start at ‘point A’ with the loss, the shock, the denial– but where that grief goes and how many directions it takes is an enigma. It depends on who we are, how close we were to the one we lost, how deeply we allow ourselves to feel … and on and on. I also believe that where we end, if there is such a thing as an ending to grief, is a personal decision.

“If you are grieving someone, my encouragement to you would be to give yourself the freedom and the grace to be exactly where you are. Don’t rush through grief as I did in the beginning,” continued Daily, whose brother committed suicide. “Realize that you have lost someone you love deeply and miss terribly. If you need help, get it. The rest of the world moves on and at times that feels unfair. As a close friend of mine said the other day, ‘When my baby girl died I looked around at people pumping gas, buying groceries, laughing in the street and I thought, My baby is dead! How can you be happy? How can you be okay? Because I am NOT okay! Friends may go on in their lives but they will not need the same time as you do to grieve. It is your job to nurture and protect your need to grieve. You can’t get mad at others for going on, you just have to figure out what you need.

Related: Grief and Joy

“For me, grief is free form. It is like one of those sand paintings that changes shape and form every minute. It can be scary and ugly and it can also be beautiful. First and foremost, it is yours. As you go through it, see if you can use it to grow and love yourself deeper. Think of that process as a way to honor the one who is gone. Give yourself the love they would want to have given you. In loving yourself, you are loving them.”

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Category: Loss & Grieving, Relationships, Views on the News

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About Allison Daily: Author of Out of the Canyon, A True Story of Loss and Love, Bereavement Counselor at Aspen Valley Hospital Co-Director of Pathfinder Angels, non-profit for cancer patients Blogger on Intent.com, outofthecanyon.com, beliefnet.com and Huffington Post.
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