Getting What You Want Out of Your Dates

[ 0 ] June 30, 2015 |

Not getting what you want out of your dates? Are you sending the right cues?

Before you embark on the dating scene, you must assess what it is that you want for yourself. More specifically, you must figure out what type of person you are. For example, if you’re more traditional and respond better to more traditional dating roles, i.e., the guy calls, asks you out and takes the lead,  or you like a more equitable non gender specific approach, being very specific in your language about how you convey that to your potential date can spare you from a lot of disappointments.

Related: Mastering the Art of Seduction – One Bite at a Time

Wishful thinking is not going to get you what you want. I assure you the guy is just as unsure about how to approach without stepping on some toes. When you are sure about what it is that works for you and express it in a positive way, the better your chances of you meeting the RIGHT person for you. You still may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your Prince Charming, but it will dramatically reduce how many you will have to kiss!

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Here are some of my tips:

  1. Be honest with yourself – This is crucial. I cannot impress upon you how important this is. Be truthful about what it is that makes you happy. There is no right answer, only what is right for you. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gone along on a date pretending I was okay with something to feel deflated and underwhelmed after a date, only because I was being too polite to speak up. Being clear and being able to speak up is your responsibility. But be kind about it and express it in a warm way so that your date understands that what he is offering may not be what you’re looking for.
  2. Listen– Being a good listener not only is a great skill to master, it will also provide you with key information while assessing if your date is the right match for you. People speak volumes about who they are and what they are all about if you listen. So tune in and listen for cues and specific language of your dates so that you can best decide if he/she is the right fit.

    Jackie Lee

  3. Be specific from the start – Don’t be shy about expressing what you want and how you want to be treated. If you are a caviar and champagne girl, don’t pretend to be comfortable with hot dogs and beer. There is no shame in expressing that you want and like that. The only shame is in when you are afraid to voice that and sit wishfully thinking that your date will be able to read your mind! Not only will this result in both of you not getting what you want, it will just be a waste of both of your time.

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Category: Dating, Relationships

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About Jackie M. Lee: For the past 18+ years, Jackie Lee has been a professional chef holding numerous positions as Executive Chef in Houston’s renowned eateries, as well as being an owner/Executive Chef of a catering and consulting company. [...]
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