How to Start Dating Again After a Breakup

[ 0 ] May 16, 2014 |

Rachel Sussman

Relationship expert Rachel Sussman shares tools and tips for dating again from her new, The Breakup Bible

Diving back into the dating scene after a breakup can be a difficult hurdle to overcome. You are unsure of yourself, dating etiquette and whether or not you can learn to love again. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and discouraged at first post-breakup. Relationship expert Rachel Sussman addresses this emotional struggle and more in her book, The Breakup Bible.

Related: Rachel Sussman on The Right Way to Break Up

Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she’s conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Rachel’s book shows that it’s not only possible to survive a breakup, but that you can emerge even stronger and empowered.

“Dating works best in late transformation,” Rachel says in her book. “It’s best to delay dating until you have worked through all three phases of your recovery, are completely recovered, loving your new rebuilt life and primed to be a great dater.”

Related: After a Divorce, How Can I Meet the Right Person?

When you feel you’re ready to re-enter the dating world and open your heart to the possibilities of finding love again, here are a few tips from The Breakup Bible to help with your journey forward:

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An excerpt from The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce on tips and tools for dating again:

1. Only date for the right reasons.

2. The ending of a love relationship may cause you to have some issues with trust, which is perfectly understandable. Healthy relationships, however, are built on trust, so please continue to work on becoming a trusting person before you venture out into the dating pool.

3. Dating is a process and should not be rushed. Take your time, be mindful, and always weigh the benefits vs. the risks.

4. Think of dating as an enjoyable prospect that will lead to many rewards.  Be optimistic, enthusiastic, and open-minded, and view it as a learning experience.

5. Don’t let any harmful myths stop you from feeling positive about dating, men, and relationships. Do all you can to dispel negative or anxiety-provoking myths.

6. Before dating, take time to think about what you are looking for in a partner and in a relationship this time around.

7. Keep an open mind and cast a very wide net for the greatest chances of success.

Excerpted from The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce Copyright @ 2011 by Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW. Reprinted by Permission of Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

For more from Rachel on genConnect: How to Meet the Right Partner


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Category: Dating, Divorce, Relationships

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About Rachel Sussman, LCSW: RACHEL A. SUSSMAN, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and is the founder of Sussman Counseling, a psychotherapy practice specializing in treating couples and individuals with relationship dilemmas. Rachel is the author of the forthcoming book [...]
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