When I was younger (but no so much younger than today!), I pushed a lot. Perhaps it was a symptom of my Taurean nature exacerbated by my birth order and upbringing (got to credit something and someone!)
And before I write on about how that has changed, I have to admit that my 11-year-old daughter Meryl Fé wrote a big post it note and placed it above the kitchen sink one morning last week which reads “Slow Down!” (But you try to juggle a new puppy, breakfast and lunch, a dawdling daughter, and a very full schedule!)
Anyway, a couple times this week on conference calls with some of my “millennial” colleagues, sensing their anxiety about certain issues and hearing them wanting to push to make things happen, with great ease and, what felt like, deep congruity, I said to them “relax, no need to push,” I proceeded to give rational justification for no need to push. Subsequently, each of them acknowledged how my statement and the way I expressed it and backed it up with rational really helped them to stop pushing and relax into the moment and the unfolding process.
Perhaps it is age (and the real recognition that pushing wears you out and rarely produces the results you want, and there are always other, easier ways to facilitate results than pushing), but I do notice that I rarely push any more. And when I do, it is almost always a conscious choice to do so (sometimes it just feels good to push and sometimes it is necessary or a prudent choice!).
One of the biggest lessons from my experience last week of supporting my colleagues not to push is the recognition of how the good advise given with the right energy and supporting information can quickly and easily facilitate a shift for others, that serves them and your collaborative process.
So, want to push? Ask yourself if it is really necessary or if you really want to do it (even if it is not necessary). Ask you heart, your mind, your body, listen to what they say, and settle into the answer, either way.